Alabama Gazette - The people's voice of reason

IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE . . . .

 


A nervous tension hangs heavily over the upcoming press conference. As usual, something major in the world occurs and the President of the United States is expected to step up to the podium and give not only his ideas of the event but will hopefully spell out exactly how his administration plans on reacting. Today is no exception. 80 members of the press corps huddles around waiting for the POTUS to step onto the stage. Over the din and confusion in the room, questions can be heard wondering what the United States is going to do. "Certainly we are not going to go to war over this, are we?" asked one reporter. Another, coughs heavily and spits into a disgusting handkerchief encrusted in green and yellow phlegm. He spouts, "No way. Not over this. We have no right."

Just then, a young man sporting a brown crew cut stands up and says, "The President of the United States." One reporter looks at her watch which reads exactly 1400. She mumbles to the man next to her, "At least this guy is always on time." The President strolls up to the podium and looks over the expectant crowd in front of him. Cameras whirl and light flashes go off throughout the room looking like a dance of 50 million fire flies. The President stands silently, waiting for all the nervous banter and annoying camera work to die down. A anxious 15 seconds lapses. The President clears his throat.

"My fellow Americans, today's events in Belgium illustrate clearly the world in which we live. The bombings are a travesty and abomination to all free thinking men and women around the world. At a time when all free men should be looking to the conquest of space and travel to foreign planets and the taming of the world beneath our seas, it is troubling that such a large percentage of people can think no further than strapping bombs to their bodies and killing innocent men, women and children. It is an atrocity and is one that I will not tolerate. Although I have only been in office two months, I have already met with each of our service chiefs, the Secretaries of Defense and State as well as 9 of our NATO members. I am fully prepared to invoke amendment 5 of the NATO charter where an attack on one country is an attack on all. In the next few days, I will be asking Congress to fully agree to a state of war existing between ISIS and the United States of America.

"I realize this will be an unpopular decision among many but at this point, we have no choice. War is not what we in the US want and is certainly not what I as the President of the United States desires. But along side of the unrest and violence perpetrated by these thugs throughout Europe and the free world, these attacks will not be allowed to continue, unopposed, under my watch. I have also contacted leaders in China, Russia and other non-NATO countries to form a comprehensive, and might I add, deadly coalition to fight ISIS." The President pauses, looks over the crowd and squints his eyes. "These are dark times requiring special attention. I plan on giving this matter my full attention. Are there any questions?" The room erupts in camera flashes and each person trying to get the President's attention. He looks over the crowd and points to a pretty young redhead in a green suit.

"Mr. President. Molly Johnson from the New York Times. Sir, what do you hope to gain by this?"

The President chuckles. "Pain, Ms. Johnson. Lot's of Pain. I really do not think these guys realize what is going to happen to them in about three months. Look, we have been dilly-dallying with these people, to include the Taliban since 2002. We put the thump on Germany and Japan in less than four years. Thus far, we have forgotten what it means to fight-to-win. In my world, it is not fight-to-fight. Sorry."

Another reporter stands up and screams, "So what exactly does that mean?" The President pauses for a moment and answers, "It means that no conventional military options are off the table at this point. Our soldiers in the field will not be hampered by restrictive rules of engagement and all lawyers will be banished from the battlefield. If our guys kill 200 soldiers, the last thing they need to worry about is some blood sucking lawyer trying to charge them with war crimes. Listen, in war, people die. For the enemy who refuses to quit, guess what, a lot of their people are going to die. Men, women, children. Yeah. Although the children will never be the focus of our military might, unlike our enemy, bad things happen in war. And by the way, no offense to all non-blood sucking lawyers out there. Next question."

"Sir, with that kind of rhetoric do you think you will provoke ISIS even more?"

"No, our reactions to their attacks are not going to provoke them into more attacks. Sitting back, letting them rape and kill citizens of the West, however, will encourage them to up their game. I do not intend on allowing that to happen." The President points to another reporter, "You."

"Sir, amidst all of this, North Korea has repeated their claim that they are ready and willing to launch a nuclear missile at the United States. How do you plan on hindering their plans?"

"Good question, glad you asked. You see, what you guys watch on television is just a small tip of a very larger diplomatic iceberg. Trust me, we have little to fear from North Korea."

"But how can you say that with such confidence? What can we really expect from you in this scenario? People are getting scared, sir."

"I feel your anxiety but let me put it to you this way. I have personally spoken with the President of North Korea and voiced my concerns over his threats. I did, however, carefully tell him that should he ever launch a nuclear missile at the United States and should he destroy one of our cities, he would indeed gain a major victory and we would be grievously injured. I also assured him that at this time, every known military instillation and institution as well as the 35 major cities in his country are already targeted and that should he attack the US, his society will cease to exist within 6 hours. No, I do not expect any trouble from North Korea. I also informed the U.N. Secretary General to not bother trying to stop any retaliatory strike and that his efforts would be best spent putting a lid on the crazies around the world. If he won't, I will have no choice but to."

"Look, folks, war is something I don't want as my 'legacy.' Losing a war and putting the entire Western Civilization in jeopardy is something I want even less. I don't believe in politically correct wars. If I did, I would have our politicians fight them. Most people will agree that war is something to be avoided. By its nature, war should be violent, bloody and destructive with the rosters of dead reaching in the millions. That is exactly why war MUST be avoided at all costs. But if it is war we are forced to enter because of the demands, doctrine and actions of our enemy, be assured, I am going to end it. All of us in the West must be prepared to end it.

"This is no video game. No movie. This is real world. My number one job as the President of the United States is the protection of MY people. MY PEOPLE. Not refugees from another country, not political correctness at the expense of the safety of American people. Someone once asked me if I thought one American life was more important that 100,000 Syrian refugees, my answer was two sided. As a human being, no, I do not thing we are better "humans" than anybody else. God made each one of us and each one of us has the same God-given rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. At the same time, however, as the President of the United States, with my God-given responsibility is to the safety of MY PEOPLE. If I allow 100,000 refugees into our country and even if only one of those is a terrorist and yet he only kills just one American, I have failed in my job. If you cannot see or understand that, you probably should not be writing for any paper. The bottom line is I am going to do what I have to do to protect our people. Right now, I have a conference call with Vladimir Putin. Thank you for your time." The President quickly turns around and heads out of the room.

 

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