Who are we without our mothers?

Who are we without our mothers? Our very basis for existence on this planet is ushered in by the person who probably receives the least amount of credit, the mother. Despite their foundational role, we formally celebrate them only one day out of the year. What we call Mother’s Day could just as easily be “Mother’s Month,” as a longer reflection on the people who quite literally shape our lives. While a single essay cannot capture a lifetime of impact, it can begin to explore how mothers profoundly influence both our health and society.

From the very beginning, a mother’s presence plays a critical role in physical and emotional development. One of the most famous demonstrations of this comes from psychologist Harry Harlow and his studies on infant rhesus monkeys. In these experiments, baby monkeys were given a choice between a wire “mother” that provided food and a soft cloth “mother” that provided comfort. The monkeys overwhelmingly chose the comforting figure, clinging to it for security. Those raised without nurturing contact exhibited higher stress levels, impaired social behavior, and long-term developmental issues (Harlow, 1958). This research, though controversial, revealed that maternal affection is not just emotional, it is biologically essential.

Human studies echo these findings. Physical affection from mothers, such as hugging, has been shown to regulate stress and improve cardiovascular health. A study published in Psychological Science by Coan et al. (2006) found that when individuals held the hand of a loved one, especially their mother, their brain showed reduced activity in regions associated with stress and threat. Another study in Developmental Psychology reported that maternal warmth is associated with lower heart rates and reduced cortisol levels in children, indicating better stress management and overall health (Hostinar et al., 2015). In short, something as simple as a mother’s hug can quite literally calm the body.

Beyond physical health, mothers also shape decision-making, behavior, and long-term well-being. While many children resist advice from their mothers, research suggests that parental guidance significantly influences life outcomes. A longitudinal study from Harvard University, known as the Grant Study, found that strong parental relationships (especially with mothers) were one of the most consistent predictors of happiness, success, and mental health in adulthood (Vaillant, 2012). Mothers often serve as early teachers, modeling empathy, resilience, and responsibility, traits that ripple outward into society.

The health and societal impact of mothers cannot be overstated. By nurturing physically and emotionally healthy individuals, they contribute to stronger communities and more stable social systems. Their unpaid labor, such as caregiving, teaching, and emotional support, forms an invisible backbone of society. Economists and sociologists alike have argued that without this foundational work, many social structures would struggle to function effectively.

For those who no longer have their mothers, make Mother’s Day a time to recognize the lasting imprint they left, the habits they instilled, the comfort they gave, and the lessons that still guide daily life. Gratitude does not require presence; it can exist in memory and action.

Most importantly, for those who are mothers, thank you. Your lifechanging impact extends far beyond what is seen or measured. Through countless small (and large) acts of comforting, teaching, and supporting, you shape not only individual lives but the health and direction of society itself.

References

Coan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1032–1039.

Harlow, H. F. (1958). The nature of love. American Psychologist, 13(12), 673–685.

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